“I can’t believe it. I can’t believe they chose me! After all the hard work I’ve put in, I’ve finally made it!”

 

Shane had good reason to be ecstatic. He had been dreaming of this since he was seven years old. For the last twelve years he had done nothing but sit around snacking and playing simulated games in his room. He always did his best to consume the minimum daily calories, he had skipped school, given up all sports, sat on his ass, and eaten his way to success. He had done everything required of him to become a test pilot and had actually been chosen out of thousands of wannabe Surfeits to represent the Surplus Space Core. His parents were delighted.

 

The day before he left for Florida his friends threw him a surprise party. The whole town of Abundance, Oklahoma, population 136, came out to celebrate with him. All of his best friends were there; ‘Chonky’ Charlie Cheesecake, ‘Meaty’ Mike Mitchell, ‘Flabby’ Francis France, and ‘Portly’ Paul Porter. The whole gang was there. They were all super stoked for their friend but also incredibly jealous.

 

“I can’t mmfff believe that you got mmff picked,” Chonky said through a mouthful of Cadbury’s Chocolate Roll.

 

“What did you mmff do that’s so mmff fucking special?” Asked Meaty through a mouthful of meatloaf.

 

“He mmff did fucking mmff nothing. He just mmff got mmff lucky,” said Flabby through a mouthful of sour Kimchi.

 

“I mmff guess they mmff just appreciated mmff just how mmff fat and mmff lazy I’ve mmff been,” said Shane through a massive mouthful of mmff meatballs.

 

“He is mmff the laziest mmff kid in mmff Abundance,” said Chonky supportively through another mouthful of Chocolate Roll.

 

The other boys were forced to nod in agreement. All of their mouths were too full to speak. 

 

All of them had been born into the Abundance community within the last twenty years and took their mmff lifestyle for granted. Their parents, or their grandparents, had at some point chosen to join the Surplus, they knew no different.

 

Life for them was all pizzas and parties. None of them knew when or where the Surplus movement had started and none of them cared to ask. Life was too much fun, too fulfilling. Everything tasted too good to question why. All they knew to do was play simulated games and eat. What else was there?

 

All of the adults in Abundance were at least 300 lbs and most of the kids were fatter. Especially the teens. Afterall, every parent wants their kid to have a better life than they’ve had. This was the Surplus way.

 

Shane was 332 lbs and 5 ft 10 in tall. He had short brown hair, parted on the left, and big chubby chipmunk cheeks to match his wide oval belly. He had always been a contented and happy boy, who never wanted for anything - except to go into space. His loving parents had always doted on their only child and had always supplied him with all the food he could ever need. They were so proud of their ‘Sugarplum boy.’ And now he had been selected to represent their kind in the race to find a new home.

 

The dream of building a moon base where the Surplus could live comfortably and grow to as of yet unachievable sizes in a lower gravity atmosphere had been out of reach for the last three generations due to the financial efforts required for such a mission. Now after the government purchase of the McDonald’s corporation the money was finally in place to actually do it. And Shane had been chosen.

 

As the guest of honour at the party Shane was expected to consume more than any other person there. Outeating the other 135 members of his town was a challenge that he was relishing. He had long been able to out eat his parents, a source of pride for them, and his friends, although they hated to admit this. However, there were one or two locals there who made him very nervous. The main one was an older boy called Dave Domycket. Dave was a lot heavier than Shane though also quite muscular. He had bought into the gluttony of his parents lifestyle but had never quite got to grips with the sedentary nature of it. He had always been full of energy and hence moved too much. This is why he had not been chosen. He really needed some Ritalin with his ramen.

 

Shane shouldn’t have worried, ‘Chonky’ Charlie had him covered. He had spent the last two hours filling the hyperactive twenty something with beer. Dave was too drunk and bloated to pose a threat. Being unaware of this Shane ate with gusto. He gobbled down gammon and gravy, pigged out on pork, and stuffed himself silly with spaghetti. His rotund belly swelled and he went to bed that night safe in the knowledge that he would turn up in Florida the next day as fat as a ball of butter.

 

Corpulent Chuck met him the next day at the gates to the base.

 

“My you are shorter than your weight is designed for aren’t you!” He said as he welcomed Shane with a big bear hug. “I’m sorry that the Captain isn’t here to meet you himself but he couldn’t be bothered. He’s in his room eating pure bacon and playing simulated Restaurant Owner 5.”

 

“No problem,” said Shane, “I’m sure he’s not a very busy man.”

 

Corpulent Chuck showed Shane around the base. It generally went like this:

 

“This is the mmff human mmff centrifuge. We probably mmff won’t worry about mmff putting you in that.”

 

“This is the mmff vending machine by the mmff centrifuge. Would you like an mmff Snickers?”

 

“Yes please.”

 

“This is the mmff anti-gravity rig. We mmff don’t need to mmff concern ourselves about mmff that.”

 

“This is the mmff vending machine by the mmff anti-mmff-gravity thingamajig. Would you like another mmff Snickers?”

 

“Thank you.”

 

“This is the mmff control centre. I probably should mmff introduce you to the the mmff people in there but over here is the mmff canteen shall we get some mmff lunch?”

 

“Yes please. I’m starving!”

 

The two of them sat down to a light lunch of twenty six cheeseburgers. While they munched, Corpulent Chuck explained the nature of the mission to Shane in more detail. I’ll paraphrase it for you so that it goes mmff quicker.

 

The basic Surplus moonbase is already in place but is currently unmanned due to an incident that Corpulent Chuck can’t divulge. Shane’s job is to fly up there solo to check out the base in order to ensure that it’s safe for habitation. He won’t need any special training for this because if it isn’t then he will die. They will then know that there is a problem that hasn’t gone away. If it is safe, then all he has to do is call them from the base and they’ll send another team up to join him. Simple.

 

Shane smiled and nodded in agreement, like he understood, because he wasn’t listening. He was too busy eating his cheeseburgers and watching his stomach grow like a good boy.

 

The next day he was dressed up in a spacesuit, shoved into a rocket, shown where the food dispenser was, and told that the autopilot would take care of everything.

 

The G-force during take-off was like nothing he had ever experienced before. His heavy 48 inch ass was flattened out as he was pushed down into his chair. His belly sank down to his knees and splayed out over his thighs like a tablecloth. His moobs pressed down into his chest like an elephant was sitting on them and his chubby chipmunk cheeks jiggled around at a fantastic speed. He had never felt so heavy. He loved it. It was like he had suddenly become a hundred times heavier. Space really was a dream come true. I never knew that zero gravity would feel this good, he thought.

 

He really hadn’t been to school in the last five years.

 

After a few minutes the force began to lessen as the rocket left the Earth's atmosphere behind. After ten minutes a big sign lit up telling him that it was safe to remove his seatbelt.

 

He was shocked and amazed when his huge 338 lb ass floated up out of the seat. For a moment he was caught up in a mild panic as he just floated aimlessly around the cabin bumping into instruments. But he quickly got used to it and remembered about the food dispenser.

 

Having never been swimming it took him a few more moments to realise that he needed to move his arms in order to propel himself in the direction that he wanted to go. Nobody had warned him that he would be required to exercise. He swam ungracefully through the air banging his belly and butt into everything along the way. One machine buzzed at him when he did so but he didn’t worry about it.

 

When he reached the food dispenser he tried to browse the touchscreen menu in order to select the McDonald’s items on offer in space. This proved to be difficult due to the thick gloves that he was wearing on his fat hands. He bashed his fat fingers against the screen in frustration and by sheer chance and will power managed to order thirty two Big Macs, seventeen quarter pounders, ninety two nuggets, twenty six strawberry milkshakes, and a hundred and twelve portions of fries. He really wanted some standard cheeseburgers as well but couldn’t seem to manage it, no matter how many times he bashed his fat palm against the menu.

 

He punched the screen in frustration. There was a loud whirring sound and thirty two Big Macs, seventeen quarter pounders, ninety two nuggets, twenty six strawberry milkshakes, and a hundred and twelve portions of fries were fired out of a dispensing hatch straight at him.

 

The shock of this caused him to fly a few feet backwards and he bashed into another machine that clicked and clunked. He looked around him at all the tasty floating meaty treats and wondered how in hell he was supposed to eat any of it with this stupid helmet on.

 

In the cockpit a screen was flashing telling him that the oxygen level was in standard parameters and that it was safe to remove his suit and helmet.

 

He screamed in hangry frustration and once more flew backwards, this time onto a remote latch with a red warning light on it. The light flashed behind him and the emergency door opened. His bulging ass, thirty two Big Macs, seventeen quarter pounders, ninety two nuggets, twenty six strawberry milkshakes, and a hundred and twelve portions of fries were sucked out into the vacuum of space.

“I need to talk to KOFC. There’s been another incident.”

 

“Please wait a minute. I’ll try to connect you.”

 

“Hello Mr President Sir, this is Captain Crunch. We’ve lost another one.”

 

“Oh for mmff fuck’s sake! You useless fucking mmff piece of mmff shit! Do you have any fucking mmff idea how much these fucking mmff rockets mmff cost?!”

 

“Apologies, Sir. Yes, I do, Sir.”

 

“What the fuck happened this mmff time?”

 

“Emergency door malfunction.”

 

“And the mmff pilot?”

 

“Dead Sir.”

 

“Oh well, Just chose another fucking mmff one. At least we’ve got plenty of mmff them!”